Why I Do Keep Secluding Myself From Socializing

“You should be more sociable, pal”

Yeah, if both parties and everybody respectively able to overcome awkward feeling and sensation in the silent moment when you’re a hanging out with me.

Don’t ever expect me that i could hold a pile of conversation stock. Handling 2 or 3 conversation is just a frigging heavy task for me to do it. If we have more than that, just consider it’s a lucky one for me.And, i don’t want to burden myself to talk something i know nothing about it. How could i speak when there’s nothing to say? What else i could do besides quiet?

But usually, if the makcik or pakcik said “engage with people more”, they mean more membawang (for makcik) or politicking (for pakcik). Nah! I won’t waste my time for stonking more sin and insignificant one.

Still, i open for serious discussion and heavy conversation. No worry. I’ll try my best to be best listener to you. But i’m sorry, sometimes i couldn’t give you my right away advice or comfort word that content your heart if you complaining or confessing something bad news for you. All i could do is hugging you and embracing you with no word and i hope it’s make you feels better.

Socializing with me is much like we’re in the library and we could mind our business in one table in the quiet place. Conversate when the topic comes out from our mind. Then, in the sudden time of running out of gear for continual chat, we back continuing our business without being awkward.

That’s what you have to bear in mind whenever you wanna keep company with me.

If i do secluded myself from everyone, not because i hate them. It’s because i sense there will be uncomfortable and unpleasant feeling in the silent moment between us. I don’t like that and i think you’ll do. So, i offer you my humble permission to take my leave. Thank you.

And let me make this clear. I’m not anti-social, i am :

(a) Pro-solitude, love enjoy by being myself and incline to appreciate silence

(b) Selectively social. I don’t want to afford something no beneficial, insignificant, meangingless, worthless, let alone lumping more sinful deed in our social engagement. If the interaction giving a mutual productive, then social is not a big a deal for me.

Thank you again.

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