The one who used to astound you and become your idol, now turn out to be someone who upset you and a person you disdain. I’m truly understood how does it feels.

Back then, there’s a person who come to be an inspiration that immensely influence my live. He’s somebody i learnt a lot from him and someone who hearten me to take a further step and drastically change. Marzuka Martillo today is but a trace, fragment and manifestation that i inherited from him. That’s the impact of my fanatic of him. Certainly that for me, he’s a grandmaster and supersifu which never cease to amaze me of him until this day. I’m following up each of his development time by time just like a mother for a son. I learn more and more, grow more glitter .

Somehow. in one day, he’s getting aggressively intemperate and nefarious. At first, i try to avoid assume the worst because all the time, for me, he’s such Aleister Crowler in anime Toaru Majutsu no Index. Every action he made have a concurrently plan and strong justification for that. Despite of my mad that wildly pressured in my heart, i still exert myself to not make a negative opinion towards him. I know that he is the person who highly adhere to his own righteousness.

Eventually, i’m no longer could hold on anymore. He’s now being far too much. Finally, me and him taking a separate path splitting us apart more further and further. There’s nothing more i could gain something from him by just stay his side. I’m truly disgusted and detested him. He changed completely. He betrayed his own probity and resolve that he taught me. He forsaken all the thing he fought for, then becoming a person who against the ideal realm he had built. Until today, i couldn’t cling to hope that he’s worth to keep with.

That time, you were just like a kid who’ve lost his parents. No more place to depend with. Of course, all this time you’re unduly hailing and zealously admire him as if there’s no others for him (but, still right now, i had to admit that there’s nobody resemble him) and as if this relish will be prolonged for eternity. How it couldn’t be? His sparkled passion, shimmering enthusiastic and his charisma makes me thought he’s the only people who able to exploit all of the prestige and triumph over competitor who dare to contend with him.

But God want to put a test on his servant. His own destiny transcend all of human expectation. Who knew that everything just vanished and taken away just like that, quickly fade away in the blink of eyes? I never have a single glimpse of thought that this will happen. You’re just like a kite that will soar to the sky and will return to the ground safe and sound, assured that you never lose your string, but that’s what happening.

Who else will be your defender for you when you’re in a pinch situation? Who else will give a full support for you in your struggle? Who’s the person are alike for you to procure wisdom and learn something worth as he does? Who else will fought together with you in this path you choose?

Right now you have no choice besides you steadfastly standing in your own feet and make it flexible in hinge on someone. People can change to anything. Good person can turn into an evil being. The smart one later could be an idiot scum. Everything is beyond of our anticipation.

Now, i learn to set a boundary, which one we should take from people and which one obligated for us to turn away. That’s a lesson of that fate befall upon me. How great someone able to be, as long as the person is still alive, putting someone on a pedestal is but casting someone away sooner or later. That’s what i learn from this experience.

Nevertheless, how horrible he is, i wouldn’t deny that he is the one who becoming turning point in my life. Shaping present self of mine.. That’s the great contribution to me. But still, i can’t mention who he is. If he isn’t someone who is he right now, i wouldn’t just mention his name only, i would gladly glorify and said loudly he is my proud figure that transmute significantly much of the thing that i own.

I’m, aware that i am somebody that creating atmosphere of inspiration to someone else and surrounding. Since i’m a tutor and love sharing my thought and idea, as well as i have a dream to be a philosopher, i assume that this might be come about. All the praises is belong to God. If it’s a good vibe, then i hope it’s the one of my share in hereafter soon.

That’s the reason why i’m writing this tattle. After all some of middling story, let me tell you something and grasp tightly with this word if there is someone who walk behind in my path. Don’t ever repeating my history. Please, i do not want other people going through as i am. Have a chew of my advice and bear this in your mind until your last breath; obey and follow the truth and leave me behind without hesitant if your judgment of mine is a rotten person to conform to. Take just what’s good from mine and throw the bad away from your grip.

I myself actually is a worst person beyond you could imagine. Either people didin’t notice it or i’m smart enough to cover it up, however, i’m still tainted with a reek of contempt and filth. Even so, i try to be the best person as i’m fully mindful that no matter who you are, you’ve to present the life meaningfully; for yourself and people around you.

I’m sincerely apologize for all mistake i’ve done; the noticed one and the unnoticed. All the truth and goodness return back to the The Supreme being.

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